the little white bird

i am the ultimate azn boi

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 02:00:41 GMT

the awkwardly new look.

i actually wanted to update.. but i can't remember the mental notes i made anymore. the only one that sticks out is that on saturday i shaved under one arm and not the other on accident which was very funny to me when i finally noticed it later.

chris's mom made me sooo much lumpia and it's sooo good i'm not sharing with anyone. which is unfortunate for everyone in my house. and my figure. starting january i'm gonna start getting back into shape. i'm bringing about a lot of changes (hopefully all good) come the new year.

oh,
the obligatory saturday date picture:

sometimes i think we both are starting to look too old. the lady who cut my hair thought i was 23, even before she cut my hair. which is weird considering i always thought i looked young. but again, just a couple of weeks ago, olay's friends thought i was 19.

but anyways, that was saturday.. on sunday i went to the mountains, to get my christmas tree. it's ..big.
on that note, if you want a holiday card, go back to my last entry and comment, if you haven't already :)

Wed, 28 Nov 2007 00:11:41 GMT

HOLIDAY CARDS!
anyone want one from me? they have the cutest little birds on them ^^
leave your adress, i'll screen the comments.

in other news, i'm gonna do something like this:

i have such a mullet mess of a mop on my head right now. i also need to dye it.

Mon, 19 Nov 2007 22:06:15 GMT

things are good, only today was not so good. i started it out badly by leaving late, looking like mess, running back and forth from car to house and house to car because i kept forgetting things, and then i hit the big gray trash can and knocked it over. then it was an okay day. but then later after third block my UTI came back and it's a good thing i have extra antibiotics and the over the counter version if i need. but oh my god i am sick of this thing i missed everything in math because i could only concentrate on having to pee and i have a test tomorrow. also i am very broke, haha. but i couldn't run on fumes any longer so i filled up $10 worth after school.

good news is that tomorrow is the last day before break and i am also seeing chris on this day because i'm leaving for atlanta on wednesday until i don't know when. also my mom gave me a coat and gloves on saturday since i freeze my ass off so easy now. i went to lexington on sunday and had BUBBLE TEA. rumor has it that we will have a bubble tea stand at carolina place mall soon, if we don't already have it. i haven't checked.

also i has these photobooth pictures from sunday:

haha these are disgusting.

this was the most ghetto thang ever, as you can tell. it is just printed on computer paper very big. i look soooooo azn.

we tried to pick the cheesiest lil design. haha that last picture is allover the ugliest thing in existence. pay no attention.

hey guys remember when we used to take cute pictures of us together during our adventures and silliness? i miss that a lot.

but anyways, that is all right now. i'm watching golden girls :)

what do you think of my shirt? ^^

Oh boy..

Tue, 13 Nov 2007 03:51:30 GMT

I've definitely put off updating for far too long and now events are just piling up faster than I can record them. Here is the most recent, though. I'll work backwards another post when I have more time.

This weekend didn't feel like a 3 day weekend at all, but it was still good. Saturday I spent in the mountains, to see the leaves, and I bought a real pair of moccassins that are white. Sunday was a lazy day, as most Sundays are, and at 6:40 (was supposed to be there at 6), I went to my friend Olay's 17th birthday party. I almost didn't because I never want to do anything anymore, but I'm always glad I did when I do. Today, Chris came down and we met up with Lauren and Becca for whatever meal you call a 4:00 meal, then we got minted hot chocolates.

Things have changed since I last updated, Chris is not going into the navy, but instead, the USMC. He was sworn in as a marine last Friday and he's off to bootcamp on January 7th for 14 weeks. On Saturday I made a commitment to stay with him, and this is the first time I realize that I can't be a kid anymore.

Before we went to lunch today, we stopped in at Barnes & Noble and I took this picture:

and being there reminded me of our second date, in late January 2007. But things are so different now.

weird, huh.

Well anyways, I have more things to bore you with, later. And more pictures to share. But I just caught 11:11 and now I'm ready for bed.

Tue, 23 Oct 2007 01:48:23 GMT

Some things are worth figuring out.

Saturday night around 7:30 I drove up to Lexington and Chris and I had a slumber party ^^ We went out for coffee (where the barista thought we were related..), we came back and watched 28 Days Later, had a couple drinks, and did not go to sleep until 5 in the morning.
Woke up around 9:30 (too early!), ate bagels at 10:30 with his parents, then went back to bed to watch lame SciFi movies on tv and play with Wesley.

Every time something exciting happens and he's walking around, he'll run up so close to the tv like a little kid, it's so damn funny. Kind of like how he likes to sit in the middle of the floor in his underwear but I have no pictures of this unfortunately.

So much bedhead in one picture! Try to not look at that goose I dare you.

This is my favourite! I love Wesley.

Finally we got up and showered and Chris's mom made us tasty, tasty filipino food for lunch ^^ by the time we actually got completely out of bed and ready, and out of bed again, it was 5:00 in the evening x] How lazy.

Downtown.

Then I found this little lady between us!

Hoo boy this is kind of a joke. We're always making fun of this kind of shit.

We ate at this little Japanese place and they made us little heart carrots :3

Smarty pants let me borrow some books. I cannot wait to read them!

-
Things have changed quite a bit, obviously. We're staying together, right now. We were starting to drift apart, but we've been working on becoming closer again, like we used to be. This weekend was like magic. Since last week, we've stopped arguing and upsetting each other (we did every night, that we talked), and it feels new and wonderful all over again. (There is a but-) As it looks, we won't technically stay together when he leaves, just because he doesn't want me tied down; to wait those years for him (though I don't see how I couldn't if things continue to go well). But the game plan is to keep in contact, and 'pick up where we left off' when he's done doing his navy thing, if it works out, you know (let's try to be optimistic here).

My grandparents got together when my grandmother was 17 and my grandfather was 19. During World War II, she waited for my him for 5 years. 4 of which they didn't see each other at all, because things were too dangerous in the Philippines for my grandfather to come home to her. They were together for the rest of their lives. It's a sweet story and I sound like such a sap right now but it's just so unreal to me. So romantic, it's almost unrealistic. Thinking about it makes me feel okay. I have it good. I know I'm only 17, and I understand things are ever changing. But I want that. After drinks on Saturday night I started talking about our non-existent simple little house and I said "You're gonna plant your garden, and it's gonna be so damn beautiful, so goddamn beautiful, Chris, you should see it." I want all that too.

So.. that's that. This was entirely too long, but it's where I am right now. For my own reference, but thanks for reading, if you were that bored. ;]

Thu, 18 Oct 2007 19:48:54 GMT

we had been together for 6 months, since yesterday.
and today, it happened.

it's not the feelings that's the problem, it's the added responsibility of a relationship for him, right now. but aren't we supposed to get through this? am i not supposed to take care of him when he's going through something? i offered, insisted! am i wrong? am i?

i'm finding it extremely hard to be an adult about this right now. i apologize, in advance, for the things i may do, or say. or not do, or not say.

-
all those plans are being held in my pockets like crackers for later, like pocket change and tasks for-another-day. This is all I have to remember 'me' this week. 'Maybe some other day' is maybe how it will be for now. Maybe some day. Maybe some day . . .

got sick of the asym

Wed, 17 Oct 2007 01:56:29 GMT

and cut my hair even more today.

i've decided one day in my life i will shave my head. not now, i can't stand for people to be looking at me right now, but one day.

i wish i could take a year off to go live in a buddhist monastery. i suppose sleeping in tomorrow sounds just as good, for the moment.

Thu, 11 Oct 2007 22:14:14 GMT

.

chris is enlisting in february.

.

my heart is so heavy and is it allowed to be?

I feel defeated.

Sat, 29 Sep 2007 04:53:11 GMT

Things I need to do:
o1. keep smiling, because sometimes the people that need to can't

smart kisses.

apeshit is the funniest word.

Wed, 26 Sep 2007 00:37:54 GMT

"work it make it do it makes us
harder better faster stronger"

- "harder better faster stronger" daft punk / "stronger" kanye west.

2007-2008 providence orchestra t-shirt design concept. it made sense at 12 am as we're a new blended ensemble. even if it's not used, i'm gonna get it back, finnish it, and put it in my portfolio. i blew off all my homework to do this shit D:

sunday:

plug:

new kanye west cd is word.

SELLING

Sat, 22 Sep 2007 17:15:19 GMT

(Click the 4 thumbnails, as well as the main image for 500 x 375 colour photos.)
** I didn't personalize the info for LJ, I'm just x-posting it from what I've been sending out to those interested on Myspace. So that's why it will sound so general, but there it is!:

I'm selling this ring! I didn't put too much information on the image other than links to pictures because there is too much to say!

This ring was sized to fit my left hand ring finger. My joints are a bit swollen on this hand from playing the violin and it's sized to either a 4.5 or 5 (I can't recall, but I'm leaning towards 4.5), and my class ring was a 5, so i'm sure it varies like shoes.

This ring was personalized for me and what I know for sure about it is that it is definitely white gold, the gentleman who resized it for me verified this. As for the stone, that is is a mystery, I guess! It was found, professionally cut, shaped and set into the white gold which was also hand sculpted. It's a dark blue stone, and almost a royal blue in the light. I was also told by the person who gave it to me that the other 2 stones are diamonds which were added on features.

The original overall price of it was supposedly around $400, but I DO NOT have any kind of asking price so please don't think it's that necessarily that expensive! I'll take whatever for it, I guess I'll just give it to the best offer. Better than letting it collect dust, yes? I've had a few people interested but wanting a real starting price (I know too many good people ;]) so if I see this request more I'll go get it looked at somewhere soon and see what they think. I can also see if they can identify the stone if anyone wants. But like I said, it doesn't really matter to me.

This ring was worn A LOT. Like, 24/7. But I took such great care of it. It looks quite new, I also just hand cleaned and buffed it myself. It is a really beautiful ring! A sweet, simple design, and I got soo many compliments on it when I wore it.

I guess that's all I have to say about the ring itself!
Email me with any questions, requests for more pictures, info, anything at all and I'll be happy to answer!
I'll also get it resized for you if needed (if I find it's possible to make it bigger).
I suppose you can myspace message me or whatever too if you don't use email, but do NOT email me at n2jetflight on gmail, i probably won't get it :[

I think most of you are based in Charlotte or close in NC even to where I could easily get it to you (I'd just really love this convenience so we don't have to deal with shipping and all), but you can still contact me even if you aren't and we'll see ^^

Like I said, I'll just keep in contact with anyone who's seriously interested as I get offers.

So yeah, hit me up. In other news:

hop hop hop.

Always late.

Wed, 19 Sep 2007 02:38:29 GMT

I should have been taking more difficult classes and joining clubs WAY before this year. Now that I'm doing these things, I'm wondering if any of it even matters.. if my chances of getting into college will even be affected.. or if I'm wasting my time.. will they look at this? Will they notice how I'm trying to fit in now? Honestly, I'm stressing getting into college. I'm completely average from an academic standpoint (none of you know, I can't even assure myself that I'll 'be fine'). And it doesn't look like there's anything too special about me that I did. It's my own damn fault. Yeah, sometimes I didn't try my best in school.. most of the time, in fact! I didn't really see a reason to prove that I could write extremely well about something I didn't care about, or perform functions I will never use ever again. I was too busy living, and learning more important things outside of school. And I didn't join clubs to pretend I care, just so I can look good. What I have learned from this education is that being in some leadership type club is more important than buying a kid an ice cream because theirs fell on the floor, or smiling at a stranger and listening to their story, or giving flowers to people with sad eyes. I love learning, I really do. The concept of school is a good one in theory. And I do learn some useful (or interesting) things. But sometimes I just feel it's not right for me. I'll pull through this year, because I always have. But I feel so.. off, doing this high school thing.
I heard senior year is supposed to be awesome but all I'm doing is working all day, into the night, not even finishing sometimes, vectoring until I can fall asleep and waking up a few minutes later to do it all over again until It's the weekend and I can lie to my parents and risk traveling to other cities. I'm off to a bad start too, failing tests already? What am I doing here.

Anyway, I spent Thursday, my day off, alone. I spend a lot of time out alone lately. I'm starting to enjoy my own company more. On Thursday I woke up and decided I wanted to draw again so I left in an undershirt and jeans with amazing bedhead to gather supplies. I bought food. It was cloudy that day.

Yesterday, the 17th, was Chris's and my (I.. don't know how to word that..) 5 official month anniversary. I came up the day before and we brought in the new month by having breakfast in the park while kids played soccer, and before I left, sitting in the trunk with so much food! sandwiches, fries, hush puppies, and giant sweet teas! It was one of those times that was just so nice.. because I love that we have the benefits of being incredibly close and in love, but that then we can also do silly fun things like best friends. I still get butterflies.

On that note, I think I can catch up on a bit of sleep tonight now. I've found that 'counting my blessings' as my mom would word it, gives me peace no matter how upset I get. I used to think the idea was stupid, I do it a lot now.

AHHH

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 00:02:41 GMT

What have I gotten myself into? Tonight I have to: Read for AP Psych, do my APES environmental disasters assignment, do a review for Anatomy, and study for an AFM test (but more like learn how to do all these functions again).

Sad day. I can tell you right now, I'm not gonna do half of that. Heh.

Whatever! I'd rather tell you about my Sunday real quick since I updated my Flickr. I went to Lexington again. Chris and I went to an Asian grocery store and got 89 cent iced coffees, a cemetery, the mall, and the $2 movies to see Evan Almighty which was cute.. though we really just went for the AC, heh.

So, you know how you never saw Ash's dad on Pokemon?

It's because he was in Winston Salem.

So.. I've already told this story a few times today trying to gather some thoughts on it:

When I left my house Sunday, I had half a tank. I filled up completely at the arboretum. I got to Lexington and had a tiny bit over half a tank left. I leave my car at Chris's house. When I leave for Charlotte at 7, the tank is past full again.. How the heck did this happen?! It's like a math problem that doesn't make any fucking sense. I filled up again today to make sure my gauge wasn't broken and sure enough I only had to fill it half way to have a full tank. A lot of people think that someone put gas in my car while I was out, "but I had the keys!" I've been saying, however now I realize that I left my windows cracked about 3-4 inches on each side to where someone could pretty easily mess with my lever that opens the little gas pocket on the side. But who and why?! I am completely mind boggled.

It's been a while.

Tue, 04 Sep 2007 23:01:47 GMT

I am wearing clothes!
Let's see, what's new.. School's started. It's whatever these days.
Other than that, nothing. I'm really good lately especially since I'm not gonna be a mommy any time soon. But I have to admit that hanging around kids 5 and under all weekend kept making me think about my future and how I can't wait to have little ones of my own (when I'm quite a bit older of course). But I hate thinking about my hopes for the future right now because I can't bear to think of them any differently. What a bust.
Hate to go off on this tangent, but for the record I'm very proud of Chris lately. He's really growing up. He's quit smoking weed, amongst doing other drugs, quit smoking cigarettes besides an occasional, he's becoming more responsible and going back to college in spring to become a nurse. I just wish he was happier and didn't drink so much. But one thing at a time, I'm surprised and impressed by the other changes he's made already.

That's all I have to say.. OH. I have my spoiler back on and parts of my car in the back are freshly painted. I'll take pictures later. And I have Atlanta pictures I need to do soon also.

This isn't one of those official posts, but since I'm incredibly bored, if you want to ask any questions anonymously or not, shoot.

Today

Thu, 23 Aug 2007 02:40:50 GMT

I had a good day! I did end up going to Lexington to visit Chris and he seems to be recovering well. I never did exactly get permission to go but uh anyway.. Heh.
He made us coffee when I got there, then we went swimming in his pool ..and he hit his face on the diving board doing a back flip haha >< But his puppy dog, Wesley (who is the cutest ever), came in too! Later, Oudom and Helen came over and we watched bits of old movies that were on tv. Chris's brother Rich was there, but I didn't really get to meet him as he was engrossed in his Guitar Hero, heh. His mom came home later and she is sooo cute. She's so nice, and quite bubbly!
Chris really enjoyed the things I brought for him! The card, the panda clip bookmark, and this book that I wrote in the cover of:

all wrapped in brown paper packaging ^^ (but I could not find my string!)
It was fun watching him read the card, he really loved it. And I appreciate you guys signing it, it meant a lot :) Also for going to Borders with me last night to get those things. My mom signed the card too, she's adorable ^^
Now it's storming which is pretty sweet and I'm listening to the Strut CD Jake burned, and it's very good! I didn't even remember what kind of music it was because I was definitely sloshed when I asked him to burn it, heh. But apparently I liked it then, and it actually is good now!

Following a trend.

Tue, 21 Aug 2007 07:20:44 GMT

List ten things you want to say to ten people, but you know you never will say these things to them. Don’t say who the comment is meant for, and use people only once.

1. When we're done with highschool, I don't think you'll miss me. I don't think you'll miss any of us. Say it isn't so, I love you so much.

2. I want you to be my best friend forever. You're my family and I can't bear the thought of living without you.

3. I'm so glad you are still alive. I'm so glad you were as "lucky" as they told you you were. My heart aches every moment I think of what if and could have. I'm starting to think I love you more than I can handle. I can't wait to hold you so soon.

4. I don't think you'll ever know just how much I appriciate you. Being able to tell each other anything, and just all of it.

5. You are dependent on the love of another person for happiness.

6. Personally I think you should loosen up. I feel like you're missing out, having so many concerns.

7. I don't hate you, but the things you do. I realize now that we never had fun together. Overall I didn't like being with you. I never loved you.

8. I can't tell if you really want to get close to me or not. You get friendly for 5 minutes, then disappear for months at a time. Which is it? I'm fine with either one.

9. I wish I knew you as silly as that sounds. You're crazy. One of a kind indeed.

10. Honestly I hope we become best friends like we used to be. I'm glad we're getting there.

OH BABY.

Mon, 13 Aug 2007 04:08:25 GMT

Little man.

Aly, my favourite Atlanta kitty!

We didn't plan to look awkward, it just happened!

Cam.

I'm going to UNCG tomorrow.

Fri, 10 Aug 2007 02:08:08 GMT

Got my parking spot today. I really want Wafflehouse now.
I'm not sure if I want to go with my mom to Atlanta this weekend. Just because if I stay, I get the house to myself tomorrow night and that is so rare. Heh.
Chris is leaving me for NY on the 11th for some days! ..Not to be confused with that crazy b of Flava Flav's. But it's not much difference between him being there or in Winston, thinking about it.
Today I picked up my violin for the first time in months and this event was.. so ugly D:

Rebecca has facial hair..

There's always Flickr too.

Thu, 09 Aug 2007 02:37:45 GMT

Things have been pretty good! The only exciting thing I can think of that I've done lately is hang out with la familia the other night. We went to this sketch hookah place which was cute and we also went bowling. Then later we had a sleepover at Jake's. Which required Becca and me sneaking out at 2:30 and Jake and Chris coming to pick us up >< I only sortof kindof got caught in the morning and it's a long story but I didn't technically get caught. or in trouble. I don't like sneaking around and lying anymore especially when it's really over nothing, it's getting so old. I can't wait to move out.

At 11:11 I always wish for the same thing and I know that's really dumb but it's finally happening. It doesn't matter the reasons, just that it's happening now and I'm so happy for it.

I have so many pictures but I'm also running on my old Windows 98 since my xp got a virus, so I have no editing programs or anything right now. And if you're a photochopping nerd, you understand what a terrible loss that is. But I have awesome friends who turn my pictures into panda portraits to make up for it. Expect many pictures on a later day!

Now I know why everyone loves the Applestore.

Wed, 01 Aug 2007 00:03:50 GMT

LJ, you remember Gian.

Cat, I don't know how you're still alive with all the times you've let me into your car/house.

Yeah, that kid's a riot.

I don't know why lately so many people are interested in my sex life. I wish I had freckles.

Pictures!

Sun, 29 Jul 2007 04:58:18 GMT

I really don't feel like writing image tags right now, I'm ready for bed! So here's links:

Antigua: 20
My trip to Antigua. I took a lot of typical beach pictures and decided not to waste my time.. everyone knows what a beach looks like.

Freedom Park: 8
A morning til early afternoon outing with Becca. Doughnuts, coffee drink & hot chocolate, no. 9's and port 100s, and we STILL got tired. Very nice day ^^

Yesterday.

Tue, 24 Jul 2007 20:12:29 GMT

Sorry this is blurry, but you get the idea.

What a bum. He took a nap in my back seat and woke up after I finnished organizing my glove compartment then asked if I would be his pillow -_- If Becca and Jake had never come, he would've slept forever.

^^ ..Oh yeah, I wasn't supposed to show anyone these..

Yup, I'm a creep.

Eventually, Becca, Jake, Chris, and I all went and saw Harry Potter! The movie was decent, being with mi familia was sexcellent. I don't know.. I've kind of lost my Harry Potter passion over the years. I haven't even thought about going to buy the new book either. I'll feel obligated to read it at some point like how I felt obligated to see that movie at some point.

Just wanted to say

Mon, 23 Jul 2007 04:57:18 GMT

That I am home safe and sound and Antigua was nice :) but I missed everyone here too much.

This is today:

Of things today that made me smile these were most:

- (Well this was last night, but) This is the first time in the history of my arrivals home from traveling that I didn't have to find out the boy I was currently involved with (whatever I mean that as) had cheated on me (or any variation of such activity) with another girl. I guess such reoccurring events have made me paranoid. But I was stressin when there was no reason to. My perfect little panda is so good to me :D

- Will Hagood and I are back in touch and we're hanging out Thursday ^^ I am so happy for this! We're gonna make a band too.

- I'm not sure if this made me smile, I don't remember. But I went out to dinner at Chili's and I went to the bathroom and when I came out my waiter was waiting for me and he asked for my number. Nothing of the sort has ever happened to me before (not boys asking for my number nor boys cornering me near a bathroom to flirt) and all I could think of was I just peed and you want my number. He had pretty hair but I told him that I lived on the moon and so I don't see how it would ever work out and he looked at me worried and then said no hard feelings. I gave him a good tip.

LEAVING.

Sat, 14 Jul 2007 04:11:00 GMT

Tomorrow I'm leaving for Antigua! I'm coming back on the 21st. I'll try to take a lot of pictures, but I'm really out of practice in the whole documenting-every-moment-of-life thing.

Check out my airbrushed-as-fuck senior portraits lol. According to Prestige, I was tanner and wearing pink lipstick that day.. huh. These are the "best" ones I guess.

^That one's just for laughs though.

All of my pictures ended up looking awkward, but I think they're supposed to or something -_-

I don't know who they are, but these are lovely:

I need photoshoot ideas as cheesy as that sounds, and nah I guess that's not one of them. Like I could convince Chris to let me take pictures like that of him! But anyway, I promised that when I got back we would do one! The 17th is our 3 (official) month :)

I think that's all I have to say.. sooo, goodbye!

we're living like we're dying like breathing is touching is screaming is fucking is sleeping.

Thu, 12 Jul 2007 00:36:34 GMT

I'm considering doing something like this to my hair:

I've been growing it out and as much as I love all the length, hiding behind my hair is just getting so old.

Everything lately is going swimmingly and there has never been so much passion in my life as there is now. :)